Gerald's Tonsils/Transcript
P.S. 118 Auditorium Mr. Simmons' Class :(singing) We were sailing along :On moonlight bay :We could hear the voices singing :They seemed to say :You have stolen my heart :And gone away :As we sing our moon-lit song :On moonlight bay Gerald :(singing) On moonlight bay! Mr. Simmons :Class, that was wonderful! Gerald, good job, lots of enthusiasm on the finish, you really nailed those high notes! Gerald :Finally, man I've been waiting for Mr. Simmons to give me a solo all year! Mr. Simmons :All of you need to master Gerald's enthusiasm to get ready for the spring concert. It's in less than two weeks. Harold :Ooh, concert? I hate concerts! Helga :You got that right, pink boy. Who in their right mind would want to stand on a stage and sing in front of everyone? (school bell rings) Street Gerald :I tell you Arnold, everyone's gonna be there. Our families, the neighbors; everyone comes to the spring concert. Harvey :The spring concert? I never miss it. What's your class gonna sing this year, boys? Arnold :Gerald's got a big solo at the end of "Moonlight Bay". Harvey :Really? Gerald :That's further reason not to miss it, Harvey. Harvey :Better take care of that voice, Gerald. Gerald :Aah, don't worry. Nothing's gonna happen to my voice. Metro Tonsils Gerald :Aaahhhhhh... Dr. Steiglitz :Oh those tonsils are really unlodged, Gerald. I think we should take them out, this week. Gerald :Take them out!? This week!? Why!? Dr. Steiglitz :Well Gerald, you've complained of sore throats several times this year and I think your tonsils are the problem. Gerald :But I have a big solo at the school concert and it's in two weeks! Dr. Steiglitz :Then let's do it tomorrow. Gerald :Oh man. I've never had an operation before. Dr. Steiglitz :Oh, it's very minor surgery, Gerald. You'll be in and out in one day. Mr. Johanssen :Don't worry, Gerald. I had my tonsils out when I was eight, and it wasn't bad. I remember they gave me all the ice cream I can eat. You still do that? Dr. Steiglitz :All the ice cream you could eat. Drymon Medical Clinic Gerald :All the ice cream I can eat. Like I wanna eat all this ice cream. My throat is killing me. Arnold :When do you get your voice back? Gerald :Doctor says a couple of days. Harold :Yeah, but too bad about your throat. So, are you gonna eat that? (Gerald shakes his head) All right! (Harold proceeds to dig in) P.S. 118 Phoebe :How's Gerald's recovery coming, Arnold? Arnold :Fine, I guess. He couldn't really talk yet, so I didn't ask too many questions. Stinky :Something's wrong with his voice? Arnold :No, it just sounds funny. He'll be okay in a couple of days. Stinky :Cause if there something wrong, like his voice is shot or something, I reckon I could sing his big solo at the concert next week. Mr. Simmons :Now, let's not get carried away, Stinky. Not that you don't have your own very special voice but we'll wait until we hear from Gerald before we go replacing him. Stinky :Well, if you end up needing yourself a new tenor soloist, Mr. Simmons, I'm your boy. (singing) On moonlight bay! Mr. Simmons :Stinky. Stinky :Just think about it, okay? Mr. Simmons :Thank you, Stinky. Sunset Arms Boarding House/Gerald's House At Gerald's house, he turns off the TV and calls Arnold; at the Sunset Arms Boarding House, Arnold picks up) Arnold :Hello? Gerald :Hey Arnold, it's me. Arnold :Who? Is this Harvey? Gerald :No man, it's Gerald. Arnold :(laughs) Right. Gerald :Arnold, it's me Gerald! Gerald, your best friend, remember? Arnold :Oh, okay, if you're Gerald, tell me how many Purdy Boy Mysteries I have in my collection. Gerald :23, and I have volumes 7 and 11 at my house. Arnold :Gerald? Gerald :What!? Arnold :I can't believe it! You sound completely different. Gerald :I do not. P.S. 118 (In the hallway, everyone starts to laugh at Gerald's new voice) Harold :What's wrong with your voice, Gerald? Helga :Yeah, you sound really bad. Gerald :No I don't. Stinky :I reckon you're gonna sound like this till way past Friday. Gerald :Oh don't worry, Stinky, I'll be able to sing. (later in the auditorium) Mr. Simmons' Class :(with Gerald singing off-key) You have stolen my heart :And gone away :As we sing our moon-lit song :On moonlight bay Gerald :(singing off-key) On moonlight bay! (everyone is laughing except Gerald and Arnold) Stinky :Oh, Gerald, that really bites! Mr. Simmons :Okay. Okay class, quiet down, it wasn't that funny. Well, it was, pretty funny, but we shouldn't laugh at Gerald's expense. (bell rings) Oh darn, that bell, alright that'll do for today. (Everyone walks out of the auditorium making fun of Gerald's voice) Helga :What a voice. You could demolish buildings with that voice, sheesh. Ha! Mr. Simmons :Gerald, wait a second. I'm sorry the kids made fun of your new voice. Gerald :New voice? No-o, that's my temporary voice. Everything's fine, Mr. Simmons. Mr Simmons :You know, Gerald, if you're still recovering from your tonsilectomy, you could consider giving your part to somebody else for Friday's concert. Stinky :Now there's an idea! Gerald :No! I'll be fine! Hey man, this part means a lot to me. Don't give it away to somebody else! Stinky :I still got my tonsils. In fact, I got four of 'em! I'm a freak of nature! Mr Simmons and Gerald :Stinky! Stinky :(singing) On moonlight bay! Gerald :I'll be fine by Friday, Mr. Simmons! I'll be great! You'll see! (later at the playground) Helga :(blows whistle) 4th grade sound-off! Phoebe :Phoebe. Stinky :Stinky. Harold :Harold. Arnold :Arnold. Sheena :Sheena. Gerald :Gerald. (everyone laughs except Gerald and Arnold) Gerald :I don't get what you're laughing at. My voice hasn't changed. Hasn't changed at all. Street Gerald :My voice has changed, hasn't it, Arnold? Arnold :No, not at all. Gerald :Tell the truth. Arnold :Okay, maybe a little. No one can tell, really. Harvey :Hey Arnold. Hey Gerald. Arnold :Hey Harvey. Gerald :Hey Harvey. Harvey :Whoa, Gerald, man, what happened to your voice? Gerald :What am I gonna do, Arnold? Arnold :Maybe if you gargle or something, or practice your scales. Gerald :(groans) Gerald's House (In the bathroom, Gerald gargles a mixture of water, lemon juice, honey and salt and spits it out, obviously disgusted by its taste and pours it out. In his bedroom, he attempts to practice his scales.) Gerald :La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Homeless Man :QUIET! (throws a tomato at the window) I can't take it anymore! Mr. Johanssen :Whoever that is, he's right, Gerald! Go to sleep, okay!? (The next day, he breathes in a home cure and attempts to practice his scales while his dad is reading the newspaper) Gerald :La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Mr. Johanssen :Well, I'm going to work early. Good luck with that voice, Gerald, and go easy on breathing that stuff, Gerald. It stinks to high heaven. Gerald :I've got to, Dad. It's gonna cure my voice. Mr. Johanssen :Whatever you say, Gerald. City Bridge Gerald :(sprays his mouth and attempts to sing) Figaro, figaro, figaro! Biker :(laughs) What a crazy voice! (laughs, then crashes his bike) Gerald looks down at the river, Arnold walks up to him) Arnold :Well, tonight's the concert. Gerald :I'm not going. Arnold :What!? Gerald :I can't go through with it. Arnold :You can do it, Gerald. Just think positive. Gerald :Arnold, you're my best friend, and I appreciate the way you're always looking on the bright side, but I think it's time we both start kidding ourselves, and face the music. My voice stinks. I'm not gonna sing! Nothing in the world's gonna get me on that stage. Arnold :Come on Gerald, it isn't that big of a change. It's big, but it's, it's not insurmountable. Gerald :Insurmountable? Man, you read too much. Arnold :Hey I've got an idea. Why don't we go ask your doctor. Metro Tonsils Gerald :Aaahhhhhh... Dr. Steiglitz :True, your voice still sounds raspy, even after you've recovered. Now that I think of it, this exact same thing happened to one other patient of mine, many years ago. Gerald :Really? Someone I know? Street Harvey :So, you had your tonsils out huh? That's why you got the new voice? Gerald :Yep. Harvey :Listen, you'll be okay in no time. I tell you how it went for me. See, after Dr. Steiglitz took my tonsils out, I pretty much stunk up the whole choir practice for a while. Everyone thought it was hilarious. I answered the phone they may say "Harvey? I thought it was your dad." When things like that got me down, I used to hide out in my room and listen to my records by my favorite blues singer. After a while I started thinking to myself "Hey, he sings in a raspy voice, why can't I?" (singing) Oh it's just my tonsils baby, putting me through these changes again. So remember, you're still Gerald. No matter what crazy thing your voice is doing, just sing what you feel tonight. Gerald, let me tell you, that's what the blues are about. Being true to yourself, you understand? (Gerald nods) Ain't nothin' to it but to do it buddy. (singing) It's just my tonsils baby, putting me through them changes again. Gerald :What are we waiting for, Arnold, it's almost show time. P.S. 118 Auditorium (Onstage, Chocolate Boy and Patty finish up their act. Mr. Simmons watches from backstage.) Mr. Simmons :Class, this is it. Take your places. Everyone get frosty. Stinky :Well it's almost time for your big solo. You ain't nervous about blowing it in front of everyone, are you? Gerald :Oh I'm ready. Helga :Well, use it of lose it, bucko. Your big solo's coming up. Or should I say, (mocking Gerald) your big solo's coming up. (laughs) Mr. Simmons :Thank you, thank you. We conclude tonight's concert with a song by the 4th grade class. Our interpretation of the classic "Moonlight Bay". (curtain rises) Mr. Simmons' Class :(singing sans Gerald) We were sailing along :On moonlight bay :We could hear the voices singing :They seemed to say :You have stolen my heart :And gone away :As we sing our moon-lit song :On moonlight bay Gerald :(singing) On moonlight bay! (everyone applauds and cheers) Mr. Simmons :Yes, Gerald! You did it! Mr. Johanssen :That's my boy, Gerald! Harvey :Yeah, buddy. (curtain falls) Stinky :I've always had faith in you, Gerald. I've stood by you and believed- (Gerald interrupts by pushing him in a trash can.) Phoebe :Gerald, your solo tonight was... inspired! Arnold :Uh, time to go, Gerald. Well, looks like you pulled this one out of the fire. Your voice is a little different, but you're still Gerald. Gerald :Yep. Ain't nothin' to it but to do it. I just had to be myself. Harold :Hey! Guess who I am! (singing) On moonlight bay! Phoebe :Or maybe its like this: (singing) On moonlight bay! Harvey :No no, guys, no it's more like this: (singing) On moonlight bay! (The kids marvel at Harvey's singing as the episode ends) Category:Gerald's Tonsils Category:Episode transcripts